Newtown: Can We Ever Go Back To OK?

I wasn't planning on doing the 100 Word Song Challenge this week, or even any writing today for that matter. The week has been a roller coaster of highs and for the past two days...extreme lows. The past couple of posts, on this blog and the Life blog were draining to say the least. I didn't think I had another post in me to deal with Newtown this week. There will most certainly be more to reflect on, but I thought a little time and space might be best for my personal mental health.

Then I heard the story. One little girl had survived as the rest of her friends were massacred beside her. One brave little girl who played dead, I can't even imagine the horror of hearing the gunshots, the screams and finally, only her own heart beating.

I believe it was a member of the clergy who recounted how she ran into her mother's arms, completely covered in blood and said "I'm Ok Mommy, but all my friends are dead."

The song in the 100 word challenge was "Never Going Back to Ok" by The Afters

"As the mother wrapped her arms around her daughter, she thought her heart would surely explode from the emotional dam bursting inside. 

Her flesh and blood alone was the only survivor. 

The mother wept, but could they be tears of joy…no. 

Relief was a closer emotion, for on this day, joy no longer existed.

Covered in the blood of her classmates, the child said 

“I’m Ok Mommy, but all my friends are dead.”  

Ok… the mother knew her little girl would be anything but. 

I don’t want her to just be Ok, I want her to be good. 

But how?"

Tears in Heaven, Tears for Newtown

Words.

Our means of communication. Words convey ideas, commands, knowledge and most of all...feelings. Those of us who write, use them to let the joys and demons out of our minds, While there are times when words don't come easily, eventually most of the time, we can lasso them from the spinning vortex of our brains.

Then there comes a day like today. A day where there are no words.

No words can make this better.
No words can offer comfort to the parents of the twenty children whose Christmas or Chanukah presents were waiting to be opened.
No words can explain what went wrong in that young man's mind for him to think this was the answer to his problems.
No words can make you believe that a twenty year old with access to such firepower is acceptable.
No words at all.

This tragedy is already being called the second worst mass-shooting in this country. Do we really need to keep score? Do we need to compare numbers of dead children...maybe if it was only one dead child instead of twenty, it would be ok? No, of course it would not.

Twenty seven families forever changed. Many dozens more traumatized. First Responders who will live with those images for the rest of their lives. And we will never really know or understand why.

A song for the children, from a man who lost one of his own.

Eric Clapton "Tears in Heaven"

There are no words. Only tears.

.